In The Wars, As My Mother Would Say.

It's been an injurious few weeks for me, I must say. So much so that it's beginning to soak my noodle, just a little. I'm normally not the most stoic of people- I tend to have finger booboos and then walk around like a two-year-old aquiring sympathy from everyone- but I also like to think of myself of healthy, and not neding medical attention.
However, in the past few weeks I have :

• been bitten by some sort of mystery insect, and gotten a gigantic tar-black bruise that faded to a knob, but which was not life threatening and would not lead to my leg falling off (according to the Happy Doctor*)
• had random tummy ailments and dizziness that may or may not have been related to the bite (also according to the HD),
• the usual assortment of oddly-placed mystery bruises
• giant sudden cavern appearing in molars.
  
• bled from the ear, and onto my clean pillow (just once, but still disconcerting).
• spontaneous yet gushery lip-bleedage (may have been toast-related)**

So, that's...weird. And Icky. And makes me feel like some sort of hypochondriacal weakling. I'd much rather bleat about tiny imagined agonies, thank youverymuch. Or one extended bout of flu, where I can take time off from work.

Anyway, moving on, here is a poll:

more at twiigs.com...

*"so, now I want you to make a wee-wee in the little bakkie, okay?"
** satisfyingly, horrified annoying semi-boss so much she disappeared from my office for the rest of the day instead of asking me for that favour.
*** Not mine though. Other peoples'.

Don't Think, Just Vote.

So, Shebee just nominated me for a "freakiest blogger award" in the Blogger's Choice Awards. So, In an effort to win, even though It's an international award and I have about 30 loyal readers, please vote for me, and also maybe get your friends and family to vote for me, pets too, possibly facebook contacts... just do it. make it happen. Also, please vote for shebee in the "best Blog about stuff" category (that way she's not competing with me, see?).

Vote For Me Here!

To Victory... and beyond!

Theoretical Musing Upon Alternative Lifeforms.

I was eating some delicious Lamb Spitbraai slices with gravy from the Spar on Saturday- I had just returned from gym and was in need of a protein binge. It was quite delicious, and led me to muse on the nature of meat, as one does. Have I mentioned my three-year stint as a vegetarian? We'll discuss it soon, I promise. I was thinking about all things meaty, and the eating thereof, and flesh and dead things and such, when it occurred to me that I might well have struck upon the reason that extraterrestrial visitors appear to be so shy*. It might well be that they are worried that we're going to eat them.

Think about it. We're pretty omnivorous, and as a planet, we tend to eat most of the other living things on the planet. The ones that taste good, basically, and even (if you have ever watched some of the "international delicacies" featured on Fear Factor or Survivor) the ones that don't. Cow, pig, sheep, snake, locust, raw octopus, semi-developed rancid ducks eggs... nyum nyum, we eat 'em up. We even, on occasion; in parts of, say, New Guinea; eat each other. So one could understand the concerns of your average interplanetary tourist. Nothing ruins sightseeing quite like having a limb gnawed**.

So, all those messages of peace and welcome being beamed into space from satellites orbiting our little wet realm are probably a bit of a waste. Perhaps a rewording is in order; something along the lines of "Earth. Water Plant. We have Oxygen, and nice boobies. Come visit, we have lots of parking. And don't worry, we won't eat you- promise!"

..As long as they don't taste nice, that is.

*aside from the cattle mutilations, which are quite obviously teenage alien activity.
** that and last-minute, unexpected airport taxes when you spent all your last pesos at the off-duty.

Scan Post #2 (At this point I'm Just Talking Bloody Nonsense)

Notes on Staying Afloat.

I have never considered myself outdoorsy. In fact, had you asked me about this at any time previous to my sojourn in the land of the Rising At Bloody 3am Sun*, I would have wrinkled my nose prettily and made disparaging comments about dirt and scorpions and my need for comfort.

On the whole, I'm still not overly fond of roughing it. But I quite enjoy the whole camping/ barbecuing food/ living in a tent thin once in a while. It's quite... relaxing. Especially when the weather is good. And you don't get bitten by mystery insects**. It's even better when a mixup regarding campsites means you end up staying at a plush hotel. Sweet pillowy goodness at the end of a hard day.

See this weekend I went river rafting. It was fun. Very much fun. Not enough rapids, though. rapids are very entertaining. But the floating along gently, accompanied by the warbling of birds (or fellow rafters), alphabet games, raft wars, biscuit-munching and harassing of the guides was very relaxing indeed. Nature was very natural, the sky was blue, the air was clear, and dragonflies were very attracted to me. And why is it that food eaten outdoors in the middle of nowhere tastes so much better?

*the real name for Japan
** long story, but my leg didn't fall off so it's all good.

Scan Post #1 (click to enlarge)