Monday, May 26, 2008

I Definitely Wouldn't Wear Some Lameass Cape.

Image via
I think about things. All sorts of things. All the time. I have one major obsession which pleases me no end, which is time travel- namely, what would happen if Iwas plunked, say, in the 17th century. Or if someone from the 17th century was droppped of in modern-day Cape Town. I think that would be pretty mindblowing. For them, at least. And it would (you have to agree) be so totally awesome to be some sort of kick-ass, ass-kicking time-travelling operative, policing temporal rifts. Or something.

In anycase, that's a topic for another day. yesterday I was walking through the gardens, and I realised something...a little disconcerting. Something that rocked me to my very foundations, challenged everything I ever thought I knew or understood about myself, and the kind of person I am. It was epiphanic*.

I realised that if I had the power of invisibility**, I would be a criminal. Sorry mom, but I would totally bash that girl about the head and run away with her cute coat. I would raid shoe stores under the noses of the staff and pillage and plunder the Apple store. I would embark on a life of criminal fashionista-ing, and be the best dressed, most black-hearted villainess in the history of invisible ladies with a penchant for frippery and accessorisation.

Also, there would be many amusing pranks played upon the unsuspecting peoples of the lands. Childish japes involving floating hats and jellies. Things of that sort.

I am a bad, bad person.

*finally I get to use my extended vocabulary! Perspicacious! Onomatopaeic! Corpulent Ovarian Tittivation! Yar!
** or to stop time. or BOTH! THAT WOULD BE SO SWEEEEEEEEET!



Blogger Charmskool said...

This is your ma speaking Bete dearest: "You are a bad, bad, mad girl!" And I larfed and larfed like a loon - so I guess I wouldn't arrange to have you busted - but I would expect a few good pairs of shoes, the odd sweater, make-up and such to keep my mouth shut

9:49 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

You're going to need a trusty sidekick. Where do I send my application?

11:44 AM  

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