The Sudden Proliferation of Geek Wannabees.

Alrighty then, okay. I have a large bone to pick with a whole lot of people out there. I'm becoming annoyed. I wish to vent*.

Somehow, at some point that nobody really saw coming, it became fashionable to proclaim oneself as a geek. Now, this is cool if you actually are a geek. The geek community; along with nerds, odd-bods, the eccentric, and those "in touch with their inner children**"; have long been relegated to the shadows, the corners of society, shunned for their choices of t-shirts, conversational topics, or turn-based role-playing games.

What crawls up my arse and dies, thus causing me to vent rancid yellow spleen however, is the sheer volume of those who proclaim themselves to be geeks who are just plain not. I find it insulting when some ex-cheerleader or "most likely to succeed"-er with a toothy grin and a confidence belying their abilities tries to wedge themselves into the circle because everybody else is too.

Here's a tip: if you got invited to all the parties at high school, or even just more than five that did not involve a D&D circle and/or Nine Inch Nails played at full volume, if you did not wear glasses or braces or were not awkward/ gangly/ pimply (or a heinous combination of all of the above), if you did not read science-fiction, fantasy manga or graphic novels, and know the characters better than you knew your family, and if you could conduct conversations with your peers without stammering, blushing or confused looks from the other party, if you didn't insist on being called something like Raven or Lestat, or if you didn't even feel like you fit in anywhere and felt lost and alone until you hit college or university and finally felt like you could be yourself, then chances are you do not actually count as a geek.

Having watched the Spiderman movies does not make you a geek. Neither does having worn Spidey pajamas. Having a favourite storyline, author or artist might. Owning a figurine and displaying it prominently is also a good sign. Owning an enire roomful- well, you don't need me to tell you who you are. You know.

Reading graphic novels because you saw the movie and want to see what the fuss is about does not make you a geek. Refusing to watch said movie because it "compromises everything [insert author/ artist here]is about" kinda does.

Watching Star trek...not. Reading Star Trek Fanfic and dressing up as your favourite character for your wedding...Definitely.

Playing playstation.... borderline. LARPing, yes, definitely. See also D&D, Magic: The Gathering. As wll as argiung heatedly over whether liking Star trek means you can't like Star Wars too, or if Zombie Spidey is "just plain wrong" or if the crew of That Other Battlestar were contravening the geneva Convention, and if that's an appplicable standard.

So please, non-geek people, cease and desist, or I will be forced to bring you down with my mad ninja skillz, which are considerable.

*makes a change, no?
** the immature.