Theoretical Musing Upon Alternative Lifeforms.

I was eating some delicious Lamb Spitbraai slices with gravy from the Spar on Saturday- I had just returned from gym and was in need of a protein binge. It was quite delicious, and led me to muse on the nature of meat, as one does. Have I mentioned my three-year stint as a vegetarian? We'll discuss it soon, I promise. I was thinking about all things meaty, and the eating thereof, and flesh and dead things and such, when it occurred to me that I might well have struck upon the reason that extraterrestrial visitors appear to be so shy*. It might well be that they are worried that we're going to eat them.

Think about it. We're pretty omnivorous, and as a planet, we tend to eat most of the other living things on the planet. The ones that taste good, basically, and even (if you have ever watched some of the "international delicacies" featured on Fear Factor or Survivor) the ones that don't. Cow, pig, sheep, snake, locust, raw octopus, semi-developed rancid ducks eggs... nyum nyum, we eat 'em up. We even, on occasion; in parts of, say, New Guinea; eat each other. So one could understand the concerns of your average interplanetary tourist. Nothing ruins sightseeing quite like having a limb gnawed**.

So, all those messages of peace and welcome being beamed into space from satellites orbiting our little wet realm are probably a bit of a waste. Perhaps a rewording is in order; something along the lines of "Earth. Water Plant. We have Oxygen, and nice boobies. Come visit, we have lots of parking. And don't worry, we won't eat you- promise!"

..As long as they don't taste nice, that is.

*aside from the cattle mutilations, which are quite obviously teenage alien activity.
** that and last-minute, unexpected airport taxes when you spent all your last pesos at the off-duty.