Monday, October 29, 2007

The Keeper of Secrets.

On Friday, you'll be glad to know, I finally dragged my sorry arse into the traffic department and made the appointment for my Learner's License test. Because having hit the big three-oh, I'm getting tired of people giving me the weird-eye when they hear I can't drive*. And I'm sure they're tired of my jaded response; "eat poop from a trowel, dingbat" followed by a swift kick to the throat.**

Part of what's taken so long is... oh, man. That ol' Traffic Department. At Gallows Hill. Closes at 3pm, interminable queues, unhelpful eye-rolling staff, bureaucracy and angst. All wrapped up in that institutional, grey, soul-crushing Calvinist 60's architecture that the Apartheid government seemed to think was a good idea***. And, my day went like this:

Approach counter 2 (learner's license test counter), "hi, can I make an appointment for a learner's test?"
Heinous cow rolls eyes, sullenly."counter 7, get a form".
Go stand in queue for counter 7. Realise after a while that it is in fact the wrong queue and that there is in fact another queue. Curse badly marked-out queues. Join queue for counter 7. Curse stupid system that makes you queue for hours for forms instead of having them freely available. Muse aloud about bureaucratic inefficiency and mistrust of civilians to use the precious forms responsibly. Gentleman in queue #1 whispers that if I want a form, I should speak to the security guard.

With ears seemingly of a bat with quite good hearing, security dude appears suddenly. "you need a form? Don't stand in the queue, you'll waste your time!I don't know why they make people stand in the queues.".
Proceed to get most informed, helpful, efficient, knowledgeable service I have ever received in a government institution in oh, say, 30 years. begin to formulate idea that security dude should train all government employees from now on. failing that, municipal and governmental departments should all be run by security dudes.

Also, there should be free filter coffee and ginger biscuits. I mean, why is it de rigeur to have these sorts of places be so depressing and soul-crushing? Can't getting an ID book or driver's license be a happy thing?

* listen people, It's not like I could afford car payments anyway so it is kind of a moot issue.
** or some variation thereof.
*** no better proof exists that they were not, in fact, the "superior race", and we would all have been better off with Ndebele people being in charge of all government-building decoration. People would be all cheerful and also have warm blankets in winter. Man, I should be president.



Anonymous Dolce said...

*bows deeply*

You have entered the portal of hell. And survived! Kudos, Bete of Noir. Kudos.

12:49 PM  
Blogger SheBee said...

But, like, how do you get places?

2:53 PM  
Blogger lordwiggly said...

I don't have much to say, but I love your posts, and I commented, so will you make me (scare kitty) a cookie??

4:06 PM  
Blogger I are wearing the jean pant said...

I'd vote for you as president. (And also, I noted and commend you on the fantastic deconstruction of government architecture)

12:15 PM  
Anonymous Kansheera said...

Yeah, waiting in cues sure is boring. We got the same problem here.

On another note! I believe that picture was made by me. If art is on the internet doesn't mean it's free to take/use/modify ;) Next time try to find out who the artist is and ask them. Feel free to use that one, though. Not asking you to take it down.

Keep it up =p Btw, I'm at :D

9:38 PM  

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