Neko

Wednesday, September 19, 2007

Intenational Talk Like A Pirate Day- ARRRRRRRRR!


Today be international Talk Like a Gentleman o' fortune Tide, an' as a practisin' swashbuckler*, I feel 'tis me obligation t' raise awareness o' this fine tradition. This tide aims t' honour them great swashbucklers through history- such as Blackbeard, William Kidd an' Johnny Depp. Men who swashed, buckled, an' stomped around on peg legs, drinkin' rum** an' buryin' booty, instead o', fer some reason, spendin' 't. Also: they be really good at trap design, 't seems. An' had plenty o' time t' do so, on accoun' o' those things be complicated … like th' flyin' spike ones. How did they get them things t' reset? I'm only askin' on accoun' o' thar be always dead bodies o' swabbies who got caught by th' flyin' spikes/ darts/ spears/ capuchin monkeys, but th' traps be always still primed… hmmm. Arr swashbucklers also hire good long-term caretakers. They’re planners, arrrr.

Belay that, hearties.

Anyway, 't must ben fun t' be a swashbuckler, all that fightin' an' drinkin' rum t' prevent scurvy*** an' robbin' an' eyeliner. Men look good, sometimes wi' eyeliner. This be also why Goths be popular. An' Brandon Flowers. But Brandon Flowers be nay swashbuckler. Arrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr! He’s, frankly, a bit unconvincin' an' weedy. A real Gentleman o' fortune be dirty an' unkempt an' hairy an' possibly keeps a spare eye patch fer formal occasions. He climbs th' mizzenmast an' uses his knife t' slash his way aft down th' sail. He sweeps ladies off the'r feet, an' right onto th' plank.

If I be a swashbuckler, I would be both fearsome an' proud. Also, ribald. I would swear a great deal. An' be obsessed wi' dubloon. I would be havin' a large beard. An' th' wenches would tremble as I strode into th' alehouse, an' plunk me rum down right quick!

An' always, always, thar would be th' Arrrrrrrrrrrrrr.

*some would insist that I’m more o' a wench, but them scurvy dogs will feel th' taste o' me cutlass.
**ugh, tho, rum gives me heartburn. Well, I like spiced dubloon, wi' Appletiser.
*** a sound nutritional theory, t' be sure.

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9 Comments:

Blogger Sweets said...

arrrrrrrr...that was greaaaaaat fun!!!

10:46 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Ahoy, a savvy blog indeed. I''e often wondard what it would be like t' be a roamin' tha seas, but since most o' us have ripped enough music, mo'ies and tv shows t' sa'e us from ad'ertisin' all day, Me say all that's port be a missin' patch. By t' way, gloome bear be workin' it t'self. Gar.

11:27 AM  
Blogger lordwiggly said...

Where does a pirate go on holiday? FARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!!!!!

1:45 PM  
Blogger SheBee said...

Ok, I am officially convinced you drink cough mixture at work. Seriously!

Lol. You daft bird!


LW - that was so intensely lame I had to laugh, u silly bugger.

3:04 PM  
Blogger Betenoir said...

sweetass, panic: yar.
wiggly: harrrr. harrrrr.
shebee: nay, it be RUM!!! Garrrrr.

3:15 PM  
Blogger I are wearing the jean pant said...

Bete, Only you can pull it off with grace!

2:23 PM  
Blogger SheBee said...

Bete - I've been meaning to ask, where do you get ur pics from? each one is always so appropriate to your posts, which is clearly intentional. Do you do them yourself?

12:58 PM  
Blogger Betenoir said...

oh, I just do a google search- I'm a good google searcher...it's all about the search terms, my friend.

1:01 PM  
Blogger SheBee said...

But you always have the same brown dudes in them?!

I hate gooogle! I never get what I want!

:(


Sad face.

1:34 PM  

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