allright already, I'm posting!
Sheesh! The demands of my fans* are unrelenting. I do, of course, exaggerate. But I have not been posting as regularly because a) I've been busy and b) I'm hella lazy. which you would know if you ever read my blog archives. But mostly I've just been under the weather and fluey and tired. Partly I blame the change of seasons: for some reason the start of spring is always a sluggish, tired time for me. Perhaps it's allergies, or my body clock adjusting, or whatever. I don't know, I'm not a registered health professional**!
In any case. Last week, as part of my mid-year resolution shtick, I joined a gym. And yesterday I had my first workout, with the nice trainer lady, who showed me the circuit. It's a ladies-only gym (so no weird pervs or those competitive scary weightlifter types who ask you what you can benchpress and aren't impressed by "15"), and has a special 30-minute workout. Short is good, right? But let yourself not be fooled: it's 30 minutes of intensity. Also, apparently all I have in my arms are noodles. Wet noodles. They tested my body fat, and I have 23% fat, which is apparently good. However I'm worried that almost a quarter of me is fat when so little of me is muscle. Am I possibly a walking skeleton, with 40 kilogrammes of bone overlaid by 11 kilos of fat? Is that mathematically correct?Wait, I forgot, there's also eight pounds of brain in there***. Damnit, all these fractions and percentages and adding and stuff are hurting. You get my point. You're smart people. Or smartasses. Or both.
Hopefully, though, I'll soon no longer be a squishy weakling, but a strong and healthy glamazon. Like Janice Dickinson, before all the surgery and Sylvester Stallone, and minus about two feet. But still scathing!
In any case. Last week, as part of my mid-year resolution shtick, I joined a gym. And yesterday I had my first workout, with the nice trainer lady, who showed me the circuit. It's a ladies-only gym (so no weird pervs or those competitive scary weightlifter types who ask you what you can benchpress and aren't impressed by "15"), and has a special 30-minute workout. Short is good, right? But let yourself not be fooled: it's 30 minutes of intensity. Also, apparently all I have in my arms are noodles. Wet noodles. They tested my body fat, and I have 23% fat, which is apparently good. However I'm worried that almost a quarter of me is fat when so little of me is muscle. Am I possibly a walking skeleton, with 40 kilogrammes of bone overlaid by 11 kilos of fat? Is that mathematically correct?Wait, I forgot, there's also eight pounds of brain in there***. Damnit, all these fractions and percentages and adding and stuff are hurting. You get my point. You're smart people. Or smartasses. Or both.
Hopefully, though, I'll soon no longer be a squishy weakling, but a strong and healthy glamazon. Like Janice Dickinson, before all the surgery and Sylvester Stallone, and minus about two feet. But still scathing!
*I'm not dead Shebee, but I do sometimes feel like a Zombie around 3 in the afternoon. And I'm fully planning on becoming a member of the Glamourous undead. or at least a shambling, lolling Zombie priestess.
** Nor do I play one on television. Although I think I'd be good at it.
*** things I learned from Jerry Maguire Part 1705.
posted by Betenoir at 2:31 PM
7 Comments:
All these equations and results remind me of some 'body recipe' of sorts....one simply has to stay tuned to see the final result!
Of course, it does leave me pondering other things....like for instance, could I possibly be a floating paranoia device, cunningly coated with a bipedal exterior, speckled with darty-eyed-isms and especially bad punnuendos?
No wait, they don't have treadmills in those rooms...
Did you know my neighbour has three white rabbits?
p-e: no treadmills, but hamster wheels, for sure.
girl: three white rabbits? that seems excessive. Also they're bound to start breeding.
if you slow down at 3.00 pm your arms are not the only things filled with wet noodles, so is your stomach you need to eat a low gi lunch m'dear chile.
wet noodles? I mean, wow. I think I have chunks of stew in mine...
Yay, you aren't dead. *So* relieved.
Bummer about the no dudes in the gym...who are you meant to have eye candy with now?
Greetings,
I have a question for the webmaster/admin here at www.blogger.com.
Can I use some of the information from this blog post right above if I give a link back to this website?
Thanks,
Charlie
Greetings,
I have a message for the webmaster/admin here at www.blogger.com.
May I use part of the information from this post right above if I provide a link back to your website?
Thanks,
Oliver
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