All Your Base Are Belong To Us*.
So. Let's talk about fear, shall we? Blinding, night-sweat, wake- up- in- a- panic- with- a - pounding- heart terror. Some people are afraid of clowns**. Some people are afraid of birds***. Apparently, there are even people with a fear of poetry, which is understandable****. There's a lot of bad poetry out there, people- especially Haikus- and it needs to stop.
I have few fears, and most of them are rational. Cockroaches (they jump on your face!!!), earthworms (they stick to you when boys throw them at you!!!), Death (it's permanent!!!!). But the worst fear I have is, I suppose, kind of...weird. I fear the Gere.
Richard Gere. One dark alleyway away from being one of those smelly pervy molester guys. Piggy eyes. Sneeriness. Aaauauagh. If one more middle-aged woman tells me how much of a "hunk" he is, I will vomit a great deal on her Crocs. I had this nightmare last night that he had had a haircut and was stalking me. Oh, and he was a transvestite. And he wanted me to eat his earwax.
What is wrong with the man!!! Can't he just leave me be?
* what. What?!?
** coulrophobia
***Ornithophobia
**** Metrophobia. sounds like fear of subways, but whatev.
I have few fears, and most of them are rational. Cockroaches (they jump on your face!!!), earthworms (they stick to you when boys throw them at you!!!), Death (it's permanent!!!!). But the worst fear I have is, I suppose, kind of...weird. I fear the Gere.
Richard Gere. One dark alleyway away from being one of those smelly pervy molester guys. Piggy eyes. Sneeriness. Aaauauagh. If one more middle-aged woman tells me how much of a "hunk" he is, I will vomit a great deal on her Crocs. I had this nightmare last night that he had had a haircut and was stalking me. Oh, and he was a transvestite. And he wanted me to eat his earwax.
What is wrong with the man!!! Can't he just leave me be?
* what. What?!?
** coulrophobia
***Ornithophobia
**** Metrophobia. sounds like fear of subways, but whatev.
Labels: Celebrities, dreams, Friends, geekery, Phobias
posted by Betenoir at 10:41 AM
10 Comments:
Hah! You think that's weird - actually, that IS pretty weird. Nevermind.
"Somebody set up us the bomb" hahaha, I thought that whole aybabtu had died an unnatural death.
What on earth do you eat before you go to sleep?
oh, you know, the usual, hot chocolate, shrooms, virgins.
You need to go cold turkey:
Take out the following DVD's on Friday afternoon:
Officer & a Gentleman; Pretty Woman; Shall we Dance?.
Press play. Tie yourself to your chair, have somebody tape your eyes open. Same person to check in ever 90 minutes to change cd's.
Have your friend switch the dvd player off on sunday afternoon.
Book in to "Weskoppies".
Never sleep again.
Nnnng. Jozi, you're just cruel.
oh so he's a real identity then? i always thought it was meryl streep. in drag.
Oh my god, you're right, it's like looking into a mirror! This is weird. (Insert x-files theme song this time) We must be cloned... I think you're funnier by the way...
I want to know if the fear crosses to Mr. Koizumi, or does the former PM have something a little extra that allows you to overlook his Mr. Gereness?
Also, he IS delicious (G-boy, not J-boy) and I'm NOT middle aged, just a girl who likes smug men who ooze with self-love and who know how to strut. Yum. You're missing out, lovely Betenoir.
Chelle- I'm going to pretend like you never said that. After all, it's not your fault...you've been brainwashed.
oh and yes, i noticed your beautiful lickle kittie, like, ages ago. and i meant to comment. but i didn't. so i'm doing it now. clearly.
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