Neko

Tuesday, July 03, 2007

Smiling Confidence, I hear you ask.


Yesterday, I hit Woolies' for a Caramel Millionaire's Shortbread and lemony sparkling mineral water. I needed a sugary pick-me up, see, because I was feeling particularly grey and iffy*. I attribute this to the mussels I ate the night before, which were, coincidentally, the first mussels I've had since I returned from Japan. I dawdled along to the till, my iPod blaring (if I remember correctly) something by White Rose Movement. Oh, also, my hair was doing the thing whereby it expands into my personal space and risks being Punished**.

So, I hand over my money, half in another world***, noting vaguely that the teller has called me sweetie about three times. Resolve not to take it personally. Then she busts out with:"oh, such smiling confidence! Sweetie."

Wha-ha? Was my approximate reaction. "really? I was smiling?"
"yes! and with such confidence!", she replied, intimating vaguely that this was not necessarily a good thing, "Sweetie".
"oh, okay. Because I don't feel confident..."
"Well, it was a really big smile. You seemed so proud. Sweetie."

So, I walked out, gnawing on my Caramel Millionaire's Shortbread, which is never as good as you think it's going to be, right? And I was more than a little disturbed. Is this how it is? Am I not the person I thought I was? have I been exuding charm, confidence and friendliness, the whole time I thought was an established curmudgeon? This would, of course, explain all the random strangers, homeless people and crazies who strike up conversations with me when I'm (supposedly) doing Unapproachable Bitch.

This unconscious charm offensive, and external mantle of confidence would, you see, mean I'm turning into my mother****. Oh, god, do I bat my eyelashes and twinkle at people?
------
I would also like this opportunity to mock an advert which names Skip***** as an "international washing powder" OOOOH! Fancy! it's an international washing powder! That's almost like being a designer label!

* oh, crap, the half I didn't eat is still in my pocket. Note to self: do not wash jacket with chocolate still contained therein.
**not a typo.
*** actually, make it three-quarters.

**** hey, it works for her, but she likes not being a cranky little sod.

***** or Surf, or whatev, it's a washing powder, it makes bubbles, it smells okay.

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10 Comments:

Anonymous Anonymous said...

Yup, I'm afraid you do twinkle. Maybe it's genetic?

3:19 PM  
Blogger ChewTheCud said...

Lol - so beneath the sparkly friendly exterior lies a hardened cynic?

4:21 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

at least 'skip' sounds all designer label ish. like 'dior' or 'chanel'. NEW VANISH POWER O2 OXY ACTION MULTI (i f*cking sh*t you NOT) will *never* be cool. sad really. that pink had *such* potential.

7:25 PM  
Blogger Unknown said...

my fav indulgence are those little pink cupcakes from lazaris, you hafta have to try them :-)

9:49 AM  
Blogger Betenoir said...

Sigh. not only am I twinkly but apparently I've missed out on some sort of pink cupcake goodness.

10:38 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

my colleagues all want to know where this twinkly eyelash batting sweetheart is hiding. They think that must be a myth because I'm more of a fire breathing curmudgeonly dragon .... yeah they do ... they do!

1:04 PM  
Blogger Betenoir said...

yes well...I said charming, not a pushover.

1:05 PM  
Blogger crayola dude said...

cranky, curmudgeony, and grumpy, you started your day.

BLAMMO.

All of a tuna fish you're a sweetie?

BLAME THE SHORTBREAD, I reckon.

Then kick a poodle. No-one will ever call you sweet again, and the French will probably even call you rude names...

*my 2 cents*

12:53 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I blame the Caramel Millionaire's Shortbread.
If it hasn't got you running around with your smiley screensaver on, then it probably has you tapping the storefront window at 3am every other morning.

Addict.

6:20 PM  
Blogger I are wearing the jean pant said...

"Kick a poodle"... he-he, made me laugh Ekke. what a funny thought.

Bete, I think your twinkle has a fuzzy underscore, like a cactus... You're a twinkly fuzzims.

9:55 AM  

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