Rampant Materialism, or Gimme! Gimme! Gimme

So, it's my birthday in 2 weeks. I'll be turning 30, which is sweet because it's a round number. Odd numbers always piss me off. Even numbers are better and round numbers are the best*. Anyway, birthdays aren't as cool when you're an adult because you don't wake up to a mountain of gifts**, which...well, it kinda sucks. And the worst part of it all is that you're not even supposed to want or care about gifts..you're supposed to be adult and above it all and all: "oh, don't spend your money, give it to charity or something".

Bugger that.

I'm acquisitive, see, and even though I'm not expecting the aforementioned MOG*** I'd like to assert my right to covet things. Lovely things. pretty things. Possibly ridiculous things. But things that, in general, I want. In no particular order, then, my top ten birthday list****.

1. Cool 70's-style retro wallpaper for putting on only one wall of my domicile. I like Mimir, Helena, Flapatos, Branch and Galatea in pink.
   
2. Katamari Damacy. And A PS2 to play it on. the console need not be a gift, lendage is fine. And if you can actually find it in this country I'll name my 17th cat after you*****
3. Clinique Dramatically Different Moisturiser, oil-free. I'm classy, me, and I have expensive skin to maintain. Well, ish.
   
4. Lots of designer vinyl toys from Toi-toy (Moofia! Dunny! Smokin Labbits!). Or a giant Gloomy Bear. I LOOOOVE GLOOMY BEAR! He rips open the bodyof his adopted owner because he's a godd*mned bear!!!!
5. Gingham Wedges! Because I love shoes, I love shoes, oh god how I love the shoes. A pair of all-black high-top Cons would also be more than okay.
6. Lots and lots of books. I hear in the olde tymes, the Pharoahs used to cover people who did good with gold until their bums no longer stuck out******. I would like someone to do this with books and my bum.
7. Pocky Mousse. Or Special Sakura KitKat. Because I can't get them here and they taste of yummy numminess.
8. A Polarising or Infrared lens to fit my Fz-50. I recently realised that it does actually have a thread so filters can be used: therefore this means there's a Hoya adapter out there with my name on it. Sexy sexy sexy infrared. Infra-RAD more like!
9. A teeny tiny tan or black pygmy bunny with big manga eyes and flopsy-forward ears. the ears must flopsy forward, not up, or back. Forward. I'm quite insistent on this point.
10. I'd like to wake up in the morning next to a mountain of gaudily-wrapped gifts. And a cake. with excessive frosting and Marzipan Roses. To be a kid again, and have the full complement of parents and grandparents, and not a care in the world except that I might get clothes instead of toys this year. Except clothes are awesome too! Clothes and toys. And clothes for toys.
    

So, I am done, my list is presented. And now my crisis of conscience: please don't actually get me any of these things, because I'll feel AWFUL. I don't like asking for things. it makes me feel tawdry....however..if you feel you must... suppose I'll have to live with it.

Tawdry.

*as in: 'round up to the nearest five/ ten"...see?
** when you're little it always at least seems like a mountain of gifts
***mountain Of Gifts, do I have to explain everything?
**** I may have been writing such lists since I was four. Or it may have been earlier.
***** I've already made promises about future children, dogs, hamsters and other assorted pets.
****** source: Asterix. It's a valid historical text, bizzatch!