Weekend Pervert Experience
so. apparently god has a sense of humour, eh? Erin and I were on our way to do our good deed bit by reading stories to small children, which, admittedly, is not exactly a sacrifice on our part, but hey I did spend hours doing the illustrations.
nonetheless. so there we were, pleasantly full fro our pleasant Donut-and-nikkuman (Chinese meat and bread dumplings) breakfast at Mister Donut, and chatting away. we got to a red light, and more chatting, with Erin now facing me.
then she started screaming.
after I shat my pants, I turned to look at what she was screaming at, not all that concerned because she had already screamed blue bloody murder at the "evil
demon ghost cat" outside her house that morning.
anyway, what had made her scream was the guy in the car next to us, a pleasant enough-looking fellow, aside from the fact that he was masturbating with both hands, while simultaneously lifting his body up so that we could see his (surprisingly gigantic) weiner.
now, my thought process at this point went something like:
"oh, a penis. right"
"waaaaaaait."
"what the HELL??!!??"
now I am sure you realise I have seen a penis before. What shocked me was that this guy was:
a) doing this
b) doing it on Saturday morning
c) seeming so pleased with himself
d) dude! seriously!ew!
anyway, Erin stopped screaming, which was good, and then we gave him the middle finger, times four, which encouraged him to one-hand it, while giving us a thumbs-up. so, apparently that didn't do much good, so we got out our pens and planned to get his License plate number when the light changed (by the way, soooo the longest red light in the whole of Japan!). he obviously saw our pens of power, and being a freakin' genius decided to escape by reversing--- thus giving us a clear and extended view of his license plate number.
anyway, long story short, we called the police who sent THREE guys over to the international centre(where we were by now preparing frantically for the onslaught of teensy children)- one uniformed and two "plain clothes" (although they both had the bitchinest "dude I'm a total mercenary" coverall things) who seemed to share our view that this guy was a total toolshed, and not particularly bright. we had fun acting out the situation a few times ("so, how exactly was he holding his penis?") and they seemed very motivated to go find his arse.
anyway, here's hoping they catch him. I totally want compensation. he totally ruined my Donut experience.
nonetheless. so there we were, pleasantly full fro our pleasant Donut-and-nikkuman (Chinese meat and bread dumplings) breakfast at Mister Donut, and chatting away. we got to a red light, and more chatting, with Erin now facing me.
then she started screaming.
after I shat my pants, I turned to look at what she was screaming at, not all that concerned because she had already screamed blue bloody murder at the "evil
demon ghost cat" outside her house that morning.
anyway, what had made her scream was the guy in the car next to us, a pleasant enough-looking fellow, aside from the fact that he was masturbating with both hands, while simultaneously lifting his body up so that we could see his (surprisingly gigantic) weiner.
now, my thought process at this point went something like:
"oh, a penis. right"
"waaaaaaait."
"what the HELL??!!??"
now I am sure you realise I have seen a penis before. What shocked me was that this guy was:
a) doing this
b) doing it on Saturday morning
c) seeming so pleased with himself
d) dude! seriously!ew!
anyway, Erin stopped screaming, which was good, and then we gave him the middle finger, times four, which encouraged him to one-hand it, while giving us a thumbs-up. so, apparently that didn't do much good, so we got out our pens and planned to get his License plate number when the light changed (by the way, soooo the longest red light in the whole of Japan!). he obviously saw our pens of power, and being a freakin' genius decided to escape by reversing--- thus giving us a clear and extended view of his license plate number.
anyway, long story short, we called the police who sent THREE guys over to the international centre(where we were by now preparing frantically for the onslaught of teensy children)- one uniformed and two "plain clothes" (although they both had the bitchinest "dude I'm a total mercenary" coverall things) who seemed to share our view that this guy was a total toolshed, and not particularly bright. we had fun acting out the situation a few times ("so, how exactly was he holding his penis?") and they seemed very motivated to go find his arse.
anyway, here's hoping they catch him. I totally want compensation. he totally ruined my Donut experience.
posted by Betenoir at 11:46 AM
4 Comments:
Please write for me! You're a deadset gem, Miss. Bloody Japanese men though, wankifile bastards - I was totally defiled in front of my entire BoE at a freaking wedding last weekend. Yuck yuck yuck. But no penile exposure, thank goodness. Hope they whipped that sucker quicksmart. Grrr. Sorry, venting. But yep, LOVE your stuff, you're now on my Favourites, what an honour. Indeed.
Hope I can see you this weekend - I might just end up coming down Sat night. Fingers crossed. See you round like a rissole!
why thank you my love. and I hope You can make it this weekend! not sure what a rissole is though...is it that roast beef thing?
Would have been extra satisfaction to see him make a horrible car accident in reverse mode, I'm sure...
An encounter of the pervd side does kinda leave one with a lack of appetite.. or a reduced trust in mankind.. The same thing happened to me in sunny ol' south africa, in the main street running through Hatfield, Pretoria. Nice looking boer boy, also looking veeery pleased with himself..
Do you look or don't you
Human curiosity..
funny story.
Creepy experience - enough to put you off donuts for a while - but really funny telling - you are a unique talent dear.
Lady Guy I think I lurve you. I couldn't believe it. Believe it! Because its trooo.
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